In today’s episode of “Healing from Within”, your host Sheryl Glick author of The Living Spirit: Answers For Healing and Infinite Love welcomes Daniel Parmeggianni, author of The Magnificent Truth of Our Existence. Daniel is a modern day spiritual teacher whose approach for healing emerged from the challenging events of his childhood and family life suggesting to him that the key to unlocking the deeper reality to guarantee permanent happiness was within himself in his perceptions and his desires to let go of pain and reach for pleasure.
Daniel shares how he was driven by intense psychological turmoil, a complicated and painful childhood and how he discovered within himself a deeper reality that not only saved his life but showed him the way to happiness and inner peace. Daniel and Sheryl discover certain important truths, the first one being “The Prime Motivation for All of Us is The Absolute Drive To Feel Better.”
Daniel talks about some of the conditions in his family and certain events that made his life emotionally charged which caused physical issues for him as well. Daniel was five years old when his brother Johnny, a handsome, always cheerful, generous and outgoing young man was accidentally shot and killed at 18 years old. The family- grandmother, father and mother crumbled. Daniel writes “My mother lied to protect me from a harsh reality and said my brother had gone to study far away…in retrospect this was a very poor decision and led to many serious problems for me…I concluded it was my fault that Johnny left, never said good-bye and never wrote letters. And I felt responsible for the sadness my family was going through.” Daniel was bullied in school and his mother wondered why Daniel was acting the way he was. From someone Daniel loved, this attitude expressed by his mother set up a pattern of self-recrimination, low self esteem, depression and fear. Soon his body began to reflect these emotions of his mind….Daniel developed a skin condition and would break out in a raised red rash that could last a while before going away (Dermatographia). The fear of going to school created a phobia, the fear and insecurity were revealed in his weak and shaky voice, awkward and hesitant movement and pained facial expression. Though Daniel’s father tried to help, he was a self-made man of extremes, a perfectionist, controlling and judgmental man who ruled with an iron fist and did not know the meaning of quitting or expressing failure. He expected the family to either be working, learning or accomplishing something. Wasted time was severely condemned, but underneath the hard exterior was a deeply caring man who wanted nothing but the best for his family yet his own painful childhood left him vulnerable and damaged.
Daniel goes on to mention that the main message or mission of his discoveries is the same version that Jesus, Buddha and all enlightened beings throughout the ages have perceived and subsequently transmitted to humanity. These spiritual teachers share a common theme of cultivating unconditional love, forgiveness, compassion non-judgment, equality and surrender. It is a message of brotherhood and oneness and how it is our natural way of being and relating to others once we recognize the mechanics or game plan of life behind our innocent and flawless deeper reality. Daniel believes this knowledge is for everyone as he is neither a doctor, psychologist, or guru and that he is proof that the light will shine for whosoever is willing to receive it, regardless of religion, training or background. The journey of self-discovery is the vehicle to love peace happiness and real freedom.
Sheryl reads what Daniel wrote “The Magnificent Truth of Our Existence” exists because I believe it is my mission in life to share these magnificent healing truths with others. The essence of my message is this: We are all fully entitled and capable of existing in a permanent state of entirely fulfilling happiness, free of any quilt or shame, and filled with unconditional love. The requirements are not possessions, power, accomplishments or even recognition and acceptance from those around us. All we need is a simple but powerful shift in how we interpret ourselves and the world. The highest spiritual aspirations of happiness, love, compassion and inner peace are simply mental states of awareness, dependent on our ability to perceive our true innocent nature and embrace our real identity as unconditionally worthy spiritual beings.”
Sheryl believes that Daniel’s quote is entirely true, however, she also believes the reality that separates so many from knowing and living within that truth is the physical world of the ego, and the fearful separation from our energy or soul essence or the part of ourselves that is invisible and often neglected. Pain and lower emotions such as greed anger unhappiness and jealously reside in the ego and illusions of our physical dramas. and hold us a prisoner of our own making.. It seems each person is offered many challenges and opportunities to awaken and arrive at this truthful expression of our eternal soul nature, but denial and self doubt must be conquered first. In Sheryl’s newly released book The Living Spirit, she shares stories and readings as a medium to help people recognize who they are, where they come from, and how to live this life to the best of their ability once they accept their true divine nature and eternal energetic essence..so Sheryl and Daniel offers us conclusions through a mental assessment of how to begin this Awakening.
Sheryl asks Daniel why is it that we are obsessed by Freedom when many do not live in Freedom but in fear. Freedom, from our own self-inflicted oppression, condemnation and thinking is necessary and we must become cognizant of the fact that we are not perfect and neither is anyone else. We can never be good enough to please the world nor should it be one of our goals. This drive towards perfection is at the root of the guilt, shame, low self esteem, judgment, anxiety, and depression that hinder us from being free, innocent, allowing our inner child the ability to just accept ourselves, life and others as they are.
Sheryl tells a story of when she was little and her father said to her that she was her own worst enemy. So, we are all in terms of the incessant expectations we heap upon ourselves..but Sheryl’s father didn’t realize he had the same affliction “Perfectionism” and had tried to pass it on to her…He could not accept his own need to stop being his own worst enemy, living in the past, fearful of having enough, fearful of taking care of a sick parent, and fearful of his own declining health. When we realize perfection is not possible in a physical world nor desirable for it is in the imperfection that we are lead to have new experiences where we may evolve change and grow and that offers us the best opportunity for living life to achieving our highest potential.
Daniel gives an example of two drivers on the drive home during rush hour. How we feel does not depend on the situations, the circumstances or the people in our lives, but how we internalize the events and our interpretation or perception of what is happening. In general all mental pain results from the perception that there are things wrong or missing from our lives. So what happens when we hold the opposite belief? There is nothing wrong or missing.
Sheryl asks Daniel” How can we transcend our need for safety which is really an unrealistic and unachievable goal in this physical life?
Daniel tells us;
- The misconception here is:I am this body. I am this temporary personality and identity.
- Forms of Pain: Fear depression anxiety discomfort dread horror panic
- Attempted Solutions: Insurance policies, wealth accumulation health options gun ownership avoidance denial.
- Why It Does Not Work: No matter what we do, we cannot escape physical death
- Transcended By: Discovering our eternal spiritual identity is the key to relinquishing
- Result: Invulnerability, no fear of death, total relaxation
The last (but impossible for many people) is the requirement for true peace and happiness is the reassurance of safety, by knowing safety in this physical world is an impossible task. Knowing this allows you to accept the flow of life and any consequences of the physical nature of life. Knowing the eternal nature of our energetic life balances the iniquity of the physical limitations of life and gives one a clearer view of our potential as both physical and spiritual beings.
Daniel has a wonderful way of thinking about the causes of evil…there are two popular theories.
- Negative energy floating around the Universe affects us
- We do bad things because we are bad and so be it.
- However the truth is Evil is a condition of manmade misconceptions, fears and desires and comes from within and is brought into the world by negative actions.
The answers Daniel found point to a very different story. Daniel reminds us of what the five Common Existential needs are and how they affect our decision making and any of the consequences that may result if we don’t understand how these common needs affect us. It is understanding these needs and our fear of losing our identity that causes us to protect our vulnerable and insecure selves putting us on the defensive and ultimately leading us to do bad or evil things from within our perspective or analysis of how we view the outside and out of fear.
The Five Common existential needs are:
It turns out the less reassured we feel in these areas, the more likely we are to hurt others as a way to find relief or whatever might make us feel better. All action taken is to make one feel the best they can. Putting these 5 existential needs into 2 categories we find: Enablers and Motivators. We discover that the need to restore self-acceptance and the need for fairness tend to be the two main motivators behind our bad behavior while lacking connection and safety act like enablers creating an environment for cruelty.
Some of us are aware that we often repeat the same mistakes over. In many of our decision making processes we are working with: a limited and flawed understanding of the situation, the options, and the anticipated consequences. As long as the state of awareness does not change, that person will always bring the same ingredients into the mix. Only when by agony or inspiration we become sufficiently convinced that another option or a different way of doing things may provide better results can we make a change. However, our level of certainty must be powerful enough to overcome many forms of pain before change is even approached such as: Having to admit that we were in error, having to eliminate stubborn ingrained habits, having to face the unknown, and risking failure and disappointment. The tipping point occurs when the potential pleasure of change is greater than all the pains involved in making the change itself. It can be quite a while before this finally happens.
Daniel suggests that if we think of it with an open mind we will realize that our entire life has unfolded in the only way that it could have. In every moment of one’s life you choose and decide in the only way your current state of awareness will allow..so your path is never a mistake: it is perfect and necessary for you. Eventually, it may take many lifetimes to achieve but you will find absolute wisdom harmony and fulfillment.
Sheryl asks Daniel where does a lack of self-acceptance and a lack of fairness lead us? Daniel says many people believe self approval or self acceptance depends on how well we measure up against others…better job, more money, more friends, a sexier body, allows our sense of relative value to grow as our level of self –approval is enhanced…therefore to hold onto that self-approval status…. it can be tempting to lie cheat spread rumors or do whatever it takes to get ahead of the pack After all the more heads we chop off the taller we appear in comparison. Many of our most destructive drives emerge from a simple lack of self approval, self esteem, and self confidence.
Sheryl says in most work places she has been in, she usually has seen one person working at this low vibrational state and this person out of their need to be seen, loved, recognized and respected since they are unable to feel good about themselves which can be a result of childhood abuse, mental illness, bipolar complexes or borderline personality disorder. Regardless of the label applied to people who function in this way without assuming responsibility to help themselves and make changes, they continue to hurt themselves and everyone around them. Of course by recognizing the pattern we are able to stop from engaging in their set-ups and sabatoging behaviors. Real change in people engrained in this type of behavior or the evil or perceptions that come from within their fragile psyche is nearly impossible to effect.
In The Living Spirit in the Chapter “You Are Not Alone”, Sheryl addresses this phenomenon and how it can be recognized, assessed and offer plans to diffuse and insulate oneself from involvement in behavior that is toxic and damaging. She suggests these people operate in a state of pain and fear and often drain the positive healthy energy of more evolved people…they create friction drama and discomfort and this need not be brought into your life process. Understanding it with clarity is the first step to protecting your health and positive state of mind.
Daniel explains how we can understand guilt and how we can release past actions that have lead to guilty feelings.
Guilt says: I should have done better/differently/not done what I did.
Truth says: I did the only thing I could have done at the time. (with level of awareness and or life situations and patterns of the past that I am dealing with..or my limited knowledge)
Guilt exists when we constantly judge ourselves and others when ignorance and self rejection are at work.
Recognizing your innocence and internal energetic or soul presence dissolves all guilt and must follow three steps…
- We must realize guilt is never justified or beneficial
- We must discover the extent and depth of our guilty feelings
- We must individually recognize our own innocence and apply this healing awareness to each source of our guilt.
Forgiveness acceptance and compassion—the opposite of guilt and condemnation—are central themes in all spiritual traditions. In terms of the perception of unfairness this brings out our worst behavior as we fight to enforce our personal rules of justice punishing those who trespass against us. Recognizing equal innocence in everyone allows us to heal our perception not judge and truly forgive.
Guilt can be beneficial when it shows us how to remember that goodness rather than badness is our true essence, and when we release guilt we find inner peace…We behave badly not because we are bad but because we are not at peace with ourselves. Feeling insecure, flawed, and incomplete, we fight to eliminate our inner chaos and self doubt often at the expense of others. Whenever we see ourselves as disconnected and different from others it limits our capacity for empathy and compassion and we then have a limited capacity to care about anyone but ourselves and those within our inner circle of identification. ONLY AWARENESS OF TRUTH CHANGES THAT. AWARENESS OF OUR TRUE NATURE OR WISDOM BASED MORALITY REPLACES OUR GUILT DRIVEN FEAR DRIVEN MORALITY SWITCHING FROM NEGATIVE TO POSITIVE MOTIVATION.
Daniel tells us what he would like readers to take away from his book The Ten Magnificent Truths of Our Being.
- Our only motivation is the absolute drive to feel better
- We always follow the path of least resistance towards happiness
- We are all expressions of the same One Will
- How we feel precisely reflects the level of harmony we perceive in our existence.
- Happiness is a state of inner and outer harmony. It is the presence of self-acceptance, connection, meaning, justice, and safety
- Our true nature is absolutely innocent, loving, and blissful.
- We are eternal consciousness, longing for the same ultimate state of consciousness differing only in what we are conscious of.
- We never stop caring only about “I” What changes, evolves, and expands is our perception of” I.”
- “I” is really everyone and everything.
- The existential harmony we seek is already present. Always was, always will be.
Sheryl Says: “So the key to your own freedom is remembering the magnificent truth of our being as spiritual beings having a physical life imbued with the wisdom of our heart essence to feel joyful innocent and courageous in facing life challenges and leaving behind the burden of fear created by thinking we are alone, different, or unloved…As we are all more alike than different connections of empathy and compassion leading to inner peace is really possible and life is as Daniel and I perceive it to be a gift worth exploring.”
Daniel and Sheryl have shared their views on ways to tap into a higher state of consciousness and awareness which is the only way to make sense of any painful or fearful events either in our conscious or subconscious mind. The goal is to refine our perceptions enabling us to realize our true power and potential for living in a happy and fulfilling state of Being.
Daniel writes..”As we come to terms with the nature of the blissful mental state we all long for we shall discover that such a state is available to everyone at all times. Happiness does not require any superhuman efforts, personal accomplishments, specific living conditions or special entitlements. Instead we will find that it all depends only on how we interpret things: All that matters is how we perceive ourselves and our world….in general all mental pain results from the perception that there are things wrong or missing from our lives. So what happens when we hold the opposite belief? How would we feel if we understood there is nothing wrong or missing.”
Daniel and Sheryl would ask you to look within to feel the delight of your own innocent and wise soul essence and to respect your own needs and whatever choices and decisions you make without judgment self recrimination or self doubt. Following the true path of Spirit one of self-love forgiveness kindness acceptance and joy while conquering the old patterns of fear or pain can lead to happiness pleasure and love.
Guest: Daniel Parmaggiani