Health and Wellness

Healing From Within

Sheryl Glick

LEARNING HOW NOT TO FREAK OUT: FINDING PEACE

In today’s episode of “Healing From Within” your host Sheryl Glick
author of The Living Spirit which shares stories of awakening, spiritual
communication, healing energies, miracles, and ways to access your
intuition and higher Self is delighted to welcome Dean Sluyter author of
his newest book Fear Less a seasoned spiritual teacher and leader in the
metaphysical field and whether he discusses the Buddha, Willie Nelson,
from prison stories to The Wizard of Oz we find our way to understand
ourselves and discover who we are and what life can really be when we
learn to accept all move past worry and fear to just BE.

As listeners of “Healing From Within” have come to discover over time,
Sheryl and her guests share amazing insights coincidences synchronicity
and discover through self-awareness how to master emotions thoughts and
access inner wisdom to create our best lives, truly moving past fear
societal training rigid childhood patterns to find the breathe and
openness of mind body and spirit for truth and happiness.

In today’s episode of Healing From Within Dean Sluyter who has written
many books including The Zen Commandments, Natural Meditation, and
Cinema Nirvana: Enlightenment Lessons from the Movies has taught natural
methods of meditation since 1970 from Ivy League Colleges to
maximum-security prisons and shares his life’s passion and love of
meditation, Aikido, nature, and offers techniques to find a road to
acceptance and peace, as we begin to live within the truth of our soul’s
creative expression and to shine light wherever we go. We will learn to
realize how to know and utilize fear to eliminate useless worrying and
focus on life unfolding as it must according to a larger plan than we
often allow ourselves to contemplate.

Dean shares a story of when he was only twelve years old and had a
transcendent moment of letting go of fear and knowing he was alright no
matter what. Sheryl likes the story he shares when he began to be aware
of how we all were similar different and still unique.

Dean wrote, “ I was the skinny uncoordinated kid: the spaz in the fifth
grade playground lingo of the day. The only game I was good at was
dodgeball—not hurling the ball at others but jumping out of its way.
That made perfect sense to me. In the classroom, I had no fear. I
cheerfully took over discussions and enjoying a chummy tete-a tete with
the teacher only dimly aware of the restless fidgeting going on all
around me. Eventually I noticed big Chuck trying for once to be small so
a history question might not be shot at him threatening as much danger
and humiliation as a softball did for me. Different people, different
situations, same feeling. Interesting. The Cold War was on. In social
studied we watched black-white propaganda films about communism and from
time to time in the middle of math or geography lesson the teacher would
suddenly yell, “Drop” and we’d fall to our knees and duck under our
desks expecting a commie A-bomb to fall.

Now we’re grown- ups. Terrorists have replaced Communists and we have
graduated from the playground to other grounds for fear: the office the
boardroom the bedroom the barroom and the newsroom. The last
presidential election was fueled by fear and so were the ones since 9/11
and it’s been a white knuckle ride ever since, with spiking anxiety
levels reported by psychologists nationwide. The political is personal.”

Sheryl says that it seems we are looking for leaders and a government to
wipe away all the problems but the world cannot change till each of us
changes within and becomes the change we wish to bring into the world.
We all must accept responsibility for many of the problems our nation
and the world finds itself in at this moment in time and must move pass
the negative rhetoric to work cooperatively to bring about the changes
that are needed. We must move pass limiting ourselves to the ideas of
political ideology and find our humanness creating a community of
humanists. Ideas opinions beliefs change with time, but human goodness
never does.

She continues…The fascination with the political division is heightened
these days as a result of social media and reality television which only
highlights fear and the way people want to hold on to their own life,
resources and lifestyle, afraid of change which must come and threaten
life as they know it. This illusionary vision only threatens
opportunities to recognize that we are more than our physical life.
Compassion and love will surface no matter how hard some fight to
realize their own personal agenda. Let’s be clear about the fear that
has been generated in the political schemes by divided parties, by poor
leadership and policies corrupt politicians and business increasing
migration depletion of natural resources emerging nations seeking
greater power and restriction of human rights along with pure
selfishness greed narcissism and unhealthy parenting as real reasons for
real concern…and a needed remembrance of moral concerns, important
values and CHANGE that when right will benefit All.

Dean writes, “But no matter who’s elected today or impeached tomorrow
our deepest fears persist personally in our own daily life situations.
It is when we work individually on self improvement and awareness that
the world will improve. Fear of pain fear of confusion fear of change
fear that things will never change, that this is all there is, fear of
responsibility fear of aging and illness fear of loss, bereavement,
abandonment fear that the good times are over that joy has fled, fear of
boredom, loneliness, intimacy violation fear of failure, rejection
humiliation fear of other’s opinions, of our own feelings, of being
fooled, of blowing it onstage, of being exposed as a bewildered child
among the confident adults. Fear for the planet. We look to the world
our children will inherit and wonder if it will be The Jetsons or Mad
Max. Fear of missing out. Our fears may be rooted in big traumas
haunting the past or big challenges looming in the future, but they cast
their shadow over the smallest moments of everyday life right now.”
Sheryl says when she sees the MS 13 gang members she feels like she is
living in the world of Mad Max. What happens when we are not quite sure
of what to be afraid of, but are afraid anyway? “When we are not sure
what to be afraid of which threat to dodge next and what direction it
will come from our fear mutates into free-floating anxiety. To soothe
our anxiety we might fall into addiction, taking refuge in a drug or
drinking or in compulsive eating or gambling or gaming or hoarding or
sex or in cutting or starving ourselves or in magical belief systems or
bogus political messiahs –anything that offers to gimme shelter when I
feel like I am going to fade away. But that sets off new fears that
we’ll run out of Oreos or drugs or the girlfriend or boyfriend will run
out on us and then we lash out in anger at whoever or whatever threatens
our alleged security. These and other afflictive emotions—grief
loneliness, guilt, jealousy confusion shame disappointment resentment
greed self-righteousness despair are all deeply connected.
Of course if you’re lucky and paying attention life offers any number of
joys and wonders which help us sidestep the most destructive habits and
scenarios. But still the fear of eventual annihilation and that of
everything and everyone you love and the thought that all this must end
lingers close by.”

Sheryl suggests that we have all know people, even children and some of
us have become those people who seem to have some deep wisdom, some
internal compass that keeps them balanced and do not succumb to the fear
There are events and movies or literature that share the dynamic of
people finding their deep resolve and love for live in its highest
aspects and motivations for being courageous and that creates a state of
being that reflects resilience and trust. Sheryl thinks of the movie
“Braveheart” where the Irish peasant fought for freedom and love against
all odds as he knew himself to be an honorable man working for the good
of his people and believed in a collective reality of hope.

Dean wrote, “They may look different and not exactly what sages might
look like but we are sure they are not racked with anxiety. They’re not
caught up in anger or overwhelmed by fear even fear of death. No matter
what difficulty or life threatening event every breath from a deep
reservoir of silence courage trust and love sustain them. But these
people declare that as they are, we can and will be, and that the
silence or kingdom of heaven is within us now. If we reflect back on our
lives—the joys, the challenges the lonely moments we might even sense
that the silence and peace has been with us, within us all along. We may
have been looking for the right things but in the wrong places looking
outside for what is inside. It’s just a matter of settling back into
yourself in the infinite OK-ness that is your deepest nature.”

Sheryl says this state of being at peace with oneself and the world
comes when one accepts, allows, and surrenders to life as it is, and as
we create it with our thoughts and actions in each and every moment. We
do have the ability to change ourselves therefore changing the outside
world, but first we must know ourselves as the eternal soul being that
we are and learn to accept our human and divine needs without fear or
judgment. What is right for us to explore is our own nature and the
nature of the physical world so we may begin to remember our soul
existence then move past human fear to divine states of knowingness and
love.

Dean suggests there is a “Waking” up and a way to learn to look and
experience peace and freedom from fear and accessing that space of
freedom is easier than people think. You don’t have to change your job
or your wardrobe your philosophy or your diet those matters are all far
more superficial than what is needed. No one owns the zone so it’s not
inherently Eastern or Western, Buddhist or Christian or even “spiritual.
” My favorite saying of the Buddha is Ehi-passiko—Come and see. Not come
and believe, or come and hope, or speculate or argue. Try something see
what you experience and if it seems beneficial you’ll probably want to
do more of it. The sages who have come and seen didn’t live only in
ancient times. They live now and what they share is Practice and View.

Dean feels the core practice, the one that has revolutionized his life
is natural—meditation. If you try to meditate it’s well like trying. But
as we’ve already seen the zone of great freedom sneaks up on us so the
most natural and effective kind of meditation is not so much doing as
being. We stay right where we are with the windows of our consciousness
wide open.

Along with meditation as our core practice the other component of
awakening is “View”. View is not mere opinion or idea. As the word
implies, it’s seeing—seeing clearly so that we perceive the reality
that’s right in front of us but which was previously obscured by
confused ideas.

In the Bhagavad Gita India’s classic text of meditation and action it is
said, “ Even a little of this practice delivers from great fear.” If,
after a little practice you fear less—even one percent less than
before—then you’re already coming out of the darkness and into the
light. You’ve made it through the worst and more light awaits you.

Dean shares a Breathing through Fear exercise. Breathing is a tool that
may support you and move you from fear to faith. Begin by breathing
through your feet. Now as you breathe normally you also imagine and feel
that you’re breathing in through the soles of your feet. Do it and after
you may realize that you feel a little less stuck in the head to the
buzzing of thoughts and feeling. You are more grounded centered or
refreshed. There are many exercises to release tension and stress and a
continued practice in meditation deep breathing visualizations music and
simply enjoying each moment are the way forward to a more peaceful way
of life beyond fear.

Dean mentions his martial art Aikido teacher Rick Stickles who helped
him realize the importance of Relaxing at the moment of Contact. “When
we realize when we are tightening up and how that limits your awareness
and response to what’s going on you can begin to see that if you’re
caught up in anxiety about the impression you are making in your job
interview, you may not see the warm smile and the gracious comments that
the interviewer is making to signal you’re doing fine. Being loose
doesn’t mean being sloppy or undisciplined. It means open enough to be
sensitive and responsive and act in the moment when you have to move
faster than you think. You can see this in performers. Cary Grant had
this sense of knowing and said that working with Grace Kelly who was one
of the best actresses ever as she was total relaxation, absolute
ease—she was totally there.”

Anything you can do, you can do better from that place of fluidity and
ease. The change is not only attitudinal but neurological. We are
retraining our nervous system to process experiences in a more cooled
out way so that it doesn’t interpret every moment of contact with a
fight or flight response.

Practicing for a test where Dean had to repel three opponents as the
first opponent attacked he couldn’t budge him until his teacher called
out “ Relax at the moment of contact!” Dean was too busy tensing up to
even realize it. No longer frozen in his own rigidity his shoulders
going soft and energy from his upper body going into his hips he threw
his attacker over with fluid ease. Relax at the moment of contact in
every fearful situations into a zone of confidence will provide the best
results.”

We go on to talk about worry and does it really ever help? Dean talks
about Steven Spielberg’s 2015 Cold War thriller “Bridge of Spies” where
a lawyer played by Tom Hanks says to the Russian Spy I have a mandate to
serve you. Nobody else does. Quite frankly, everybody else has an
interest in sending you to the electric chair The Russian spy says; All
right. Donovan the lawyer then says to the Russian, “ You don’t seem
alarmed?” Abel, the Russian spy says with a shrug of his shoulder…Would
it help?

The moral of that story is highlighted from a line from an eight-century
Buddhist sage Shantideval:

If there’s a solution, what’s the point of worrying?
If there’s no solution, what’s the point of worrying?

Willie Nelson sounded a bit like Shantideva when he said, “ I’ve never
seen worrying about anything change it. So I decided not to do it….You
know, we’re all gonna die. So we all have to say, “OK, I may be next,
you may be next, who knows.”

People, ordinary people can find the switch to worry and shut it off.
It’s not repressing it or pushing it down within you which can fester
and lead to cancer. It’s simply acknowledging that while things may
happen that are unexpected or not pleasant, we have the ability to try
and do the best we can in any given moment without fear and choose to
accept allow and surrender to adversity and try to make something good
out of it. That is an attitude and a choice we can make which can be
constructive and lead to good results ultimately.

Dean wrote, “The letting go of worry, of futile struggle against what
is, works from the smallest annoyance all the way to full blown crises
when we feel our whole life is melting down.”

Sheryl shares with Dean that she is told by her spiritual guides that
they are working very hard for us to move past the challenges of our
political social economic and religious challenges of these rapidly
changing times and that we must not allow ourselves to think that we
alone, must point out truth justice and the best way to thrive in all
our decisions. We can trust that what is right will eventually present
itself even as we go through what appears to be horrendously insensitive
actions by so many un-awakened souls.

Dean alludes to discuss the difference between religion and
spirituality, He wrote, “I once asked a Catholic priest who was on a
twelve step program, “What’s the difference between religion and
spirituality? He replied, “In my opinion, religion is for people who
pray to God so as not to go to hell. Spirituality is for people who have
already been there and are now looking for a way back home.”

Fear grief rage bitter disappointment our various afflictions may look
and feel different, but they’re all forms of the same primal suffering,
which is the sense of isolation of being alone and cut off from the wave
without an ocean. But there’s no such thing as a wave without an ocean.
The sages-Buddha Jesus Shankara and ordinary people have managed to wake
up out of isolation and suffering. Everyone of us can and can improve
our lives.

Sheryl writes in her book The Living Spirit in regard to merging
spirituality with religion, “Loving all of humanity is made even more
difficult at times by the man-made inventions that seek to separate us.
While we can be separated by political or socioeconomic differences,
there has been no more divisive an issue than religion. Please do not
take this as a disparagement of religious beliefs. Only when we use our
beliefs to exclude others, then we may be ignoring the central message
of God and his messengers: that we are all connected to Universal Energy
and to each other.”

Dean would like readers of Fear Less to take away with them after
reading the book the notion that, “As you allow ease to permeate your
life percolating through its fibers naturally dissolving and washing out
the old gunky deposits of fear rage and self-destructive craving, more
and more you are happy and at peace for no particular reason except
that’s what you are at your core and now your core is being unburied and
unburdened by old thoughts habits and old behaviors. As you awake and
break free from the old distortions a natural wisdom bigger than
separate “I” with its little thoughts emerges to guide your steps.”

In summarizing today’s episode of “Healing From Within” Dean Sluyter has
shown us that by relaxing into life, by becoming aware of sounds,
feeling, and the futility of trying to control events within and around
us, we begin to know ourselves as souls of an eternal source of
lightness of being which can move past fear restriction limitation to
create and enjoy life in all its beauty and goodness. The biggest fear
of being alone unloved and unappreciated are often just figments of the
ego and mind and a lack of awareness to our interconnectedness to all
that is, was, and will be in the eternal dance of life love and growing
awareness of Self through meditation self-reflection and allowing life
to unfold not as we will it or control it, but as we hope and dream it
to be, to make it wondrous, real, both here and beyond this physical
world.

Dean wrote The silent, unmoving ocean of awareness is you. All the waves
of motion and change—thoughts, feelings sensations—pass frictionlessly
through you. Just notice this Leave it as it is, and let it go as it
goes.”

Dean and I would share our love of life peace goodness and well-being
that we both have found within us, even as storms swirl around us, or
times and needs change, for we as souls have inner wisdom and personal
power to grow expand find peace as we surrender graciously to whatever
happens, without struggle, and trust the Universal Plan will be for our
ultimate good as we continue to change beyond fear and control. That is
truth and will always be TRUE.

Today’s Guest

www.fearlessbook.net