2012 Higher Love

Parent Well in our Digital World

Gloria DeGaetano

Parent Well in our Digital World – Your Teen and Social Media

Gloria, founder of The Parent Coaching Institute (PCI) and author of Parenting Well in a Media Age, talks with PCI Coach Arlene Angle owner of the parent coaching practice, Another Angle on Parenting. Arlene has a background as an early childhood educator and directed her own school before pursuing parent coaching with the Parent Coaching Institute. Arlene is also a mom of two and brings her parenting experience to her work with moms and dads in each coaching session.

In this podcast, Arlene shares how she and her husband reacted when her fifteen-year old daughter, Cody, was being bullied by “friends” on Facebook. We also hear about her daughter’s mature reaction that helped the situation turn around for the positive in a short time.
Gloria asks about the possible reasons for Cody’s mature response and together they focus on what parents do to help teens navigate social media successfully:

Taking the time to talk with Cody about how she is perceiving the situation—this meant listening deeply and not showing our fear and rushing in with an untimely solution.

Being supportive without being smothering—this is a fine line that requires insight and trust in our teen, along with working hard to understand what our teen needs at the time to make the best choices possible.

A focus on developing your teens’ unique talents so that she grows a strong self-identity, acquiring skills for resisting peer pressure.

Family rules with devices that all family members participate in so that your teen knows your priorities and that you live them—you don’t just talk about them.

With clear boundaries, priorities, and support teens can navigate social media successfully and use it for socializing and for learning about socializing!

Parent Well in our Digital World – Devices are Tools, Not Tethers

Gloria, founder of The Parent Coaching Institute (PCI) and author of Parenting Well in a Media Age, talks with PCI Certified Parent Coach® Lauren Leiker. Lauren is a seasoned parent educator, a college instructor, and owns and operates her parent coaching company, Parenting Aware in the Seattle area. Both as a mother and as a professional Lauren has seen the fruits of teaching children to use their creativity and know-how to become wise, selective, and intentional users of all forms of screen technologies.

This podcast is about how parents can empower their children to use their devices as tools and not become habituated, or even addicted to them, as tethers.
Gloria and Lauren discuss two major steps for parents in a digital age to empower their kids to be in control of screen technology:

1. Set boundaries, so both children and teens spend time doing other activities—apart from 2-D screen activities—so they know themselves better and can express their creativity in diverse ways.
2. Once kids have a healthy sense of themselves and their talents and love expressing themselves creatively, then it is sure bet they will use screens to do the same.

Although the formula is simple, it is not always easy to implement. Gloria and Lauren discuss ways they support parents to empower their kids. Lauren shares an inspiring story about her daughter who loves to write and now as a middle-schooler writes two blogs—one about her brother’s sports team and the other book reviews for kids.

Let’s empower kids to use screen technology as a tool for their creative expression. It can be done. And it’s the only way we make sure we all live with technology, rather than for it—today and in the future!

Parent Well in our Digital World – Prepare Kids Well To Use Tech Wisely

Gloria DeGaetano, founder of The Parent Coaching Institute (PCI) and author of Parenting Well in a Media Age, talks with PCI Certified Parent Coach® Rhonda Moskowitz. Rhonda, a mother of three, has been working with parents for over 30 years—as a special education teacher, early childhood administrator and currently as a PCI Certified Parent Coach®. Rhonda works with parents who are overwhelmed and say “I just don’t know what to do any more!” Parents find Rhonda when they have tried many things, but nothing has changed. She helps moms and dads create practical solutions for their parenting concerns. In fact, her parent coaching company is called: Practical Solutions Parent Coaching. Rhonda works with parents who have children between the ages of birth and 18 and she also works with parents who have children who have been diagnosed with ADHD. Like all PCI trained parent coaches, Rhonda helps moms and dads focus on what is working. And then from there client and coach create a picture of what they want things to look like. Once that is attained, the coaching centers on practical solutions to get parents to the life they want to lead.
“Fortune favors the well-prepared.”
This popular saying gives the essence of this podcast. We want parents to prepare their children well before they let them loose to roam the digital landscape!
Gloria and Rhonda center their discussion on three important key parenting strategies:

1. Understand the capabilities of what we are giving kids when we give them those devices. Rhonda says, “We are giving them the keys to the kingdom—access to the whole, wide world.”

2. Set rules and limits—having a contract agreement—yes—write your rules down, discuss them and have the kids sign. Now they not only know them, they have signed and agreed to follow them.

3. Adjust our own use of devices—modeling is so powerful. Talk a lot about rules that adults follow, too!

With these three focal points, we prepare our kids and certainly empower them to be in charge of their devices. Learning to live with screen technology, not for screen technology is after all, that what it’s all about!

Parent Well in our Digital World – Apps for Language Learning

Gloria DeGaetano, founder of the Parent Coaching Institute and CEO of Parent Coach International speaks with speech and language pathologist Erik X. Raj. Erik works with school-aged children who have various articulation, language, and fluency difficulties. He believes that speech therapy not only benefits a student’s ability to communicate, but it also increases a young learner’s confidence and courage. Erik’s mission is to provide each child with a positive experience that sparks a passion for knowledge and creative thinking. Erik also teaches on-line classes for speech pathologists and gives on-site workshops as well. In addition, he develops apps to help youngsters learn through technology. Today’s podcast is focused on that topic.

“I am a lover of language.” ~ Erik X. Raj

With that statement, Erik reveals how much zest and drive he gives to helping children become a lover of language as well. In this podcast Gloria and Erik discuss:

The vital need to counter-balance use of devices with real-world, sensory experiences—and ways to do that—for optimal brain development.

Why early language learning must be hands-on and incorporate low-tech for the youngest brains.

Information about the apps Erik develops that not only teach speech articulation, but also help children learn important thinking skills like decision making.

The essential nature of language as a “symbolic system for thinking.”

Tune in to review your love of language and learn great ways to help children do the same!

Parent Well in our Digital World – Keeping Parental Influence More Powerful Than Digital World Influence

Gloria DeGaetano, founder of The Parent Coaching Institute, and CEO of Parent Coach International talks with PCI Certified Parent Coach® Erin Taylor. Erin is a therapist who has spent fifteen years providing therapeutic services to children ages 5-18 and to their parents, along with case management to children and families on caseload. Now as a PCI Coach, Erin coaches parents through her coaching practice, aptly named for today’s conversation, Village Parent Coaching. Erin is a mother of four and she shares not only her professional expertise, but also her challenges and triumphs as a mom in this digital world.

“At our house ‘e’ doesn’t stand for e-mail or electronics, ‘e’ stands for eternity.”

~ Erin Taylor, PCI Certified Parent Coach®

With this quote, Erin demonstrates an important learning she provides to her children—that anything they put on social media or on the Internet is there for all time, for all to see. This is such a critical part of helping kids become wise and thoughtful users of their digital devices.

In this podcast, Erin shares two powerful stories about digital challenges with her middle school son and her eight year-old daughter. These are stories most parents can relate to. Erin shares what she did as a mom and explains how she put her parenting priorities into action steps. It’s not perfect or pretty, at times, to parent well in a digital age, but Erin shows that with clarity about what we believe in and confidence to walk our talk with our kids, we can be the strongest influence in our kids’ lives—and in that process limit potential negative digital/media influences.

Erin also explains how she and a group of parents began an on-going dialogue about digital issues and Internet safety for their kids. They call their group LOCKS and they regularly talk through a Facebook group, supporting each other to develop limits, boundaries for their kids; as well as share important knowledge and information about the latest app or social media fad that their kids are engaged in, and disseminate success stories and strategies that worked so all can benefit. “It takes a village to raise a child.” Erin and the parent community she is a part of are taking this truth seriously by providing a strong collective force to protect and teach their children in this digital world.

Erin is available to help any parent who wants to, create a similar parent group in their own community. You can contact her through her website listed above.

We don’t have to allow the “industry-culture” of high-tech to have more influence over our kids than we do. There is much we can do within our immediate circles to make positive differences in the lives of the children we love. You can start by listening to this podcast for inspiration and important information!

The Parent Coaching Corner™

The Parent Coaching Corner™ will resume as soon as scheduling permits.

Parent Well in our Digital World – Successful Single Parenting in a Digital World

Gloria DeGaetano, founder of The Parent Coaching Institute, and CEO of Parent Coach International talks with PCI Certified Parent Coach® Mary Upham. In addition to completing Parent Coach Certification® Training in collaboration with Seattle Pacific University, Mary has completed a Master’s Degree in Early Childhood Education at the University of Minnesota, a teaching licensure in Parent Education, and training in the Nurtured Heart Approach. Mary has worked with children and parents for over 25 years. Her background includes teaching at early childhood, elementary, and high school levels, running a home child care business, and offering parent education classes. As a PCI Coach Mary owns and operates Positive Path Coaching, offering parent coaching to individual moms and dads, to couples and to groups. Mary herself has parented through separation and divorce. Now a single parent, Mary describes herself as a “the joyful mother of three daughters, ages 10, 13, and 19.”

Gloria and Mary discuss the specific challenges of single parenting including finding the time, energy, and confidence to set boundaries about the media when feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. They outline successful strategies in these three basic areas:

1. The importance of parental self-care—filling our own cups keeps us clear, confident, and creative with enough energy to deal positively with potentially contentious issues.
2. Keeping lines of communication open with our kids gives vital opportunities for family media literacy activities—using teachable moments as we go.
3. Making sure we stay positive and upbeat—even when the rules at “the other house” aren’t the same as ours—this gives kids lots of opportunities to learn how to adjust, even thrive, in different environments with different expectations.
Tune in to hear more specifics you can apply today to your parenting in a digital age!

The Parent Coaching Corner™
The Parent Coaching Corner™ will resume as soon as scheduling permits.

Parent Well in our Digital World – Free, Unstructured Time: A Childhood Necessity

Gloria DeGaetano, founder of The Parent Coaching Institute, and CEO of Parent Coach International talks with PCI Certified Parent Coach® Dana Allara. Dana holds her master’s degree in school psychology from Teachers College at Columbia University. Her background includes educational evaluations, running social skills groups for preschool and school-aged children in both general education and special education settings, as well as leading parent education programs with topics including technology use, temper tantrums, youth sports, sleep concerns, eating, cooperative listening, and sharing. In her parent coaching Dana works collaboratively with parents to uncover inner parenting wisdom and identify personal areas of strength, while she helps moms and dads clarify what’s important to them—all the while helping them bring their dream into reality. She is a master parent coach with a wealth of both professional expertise and personal experience, as well. Dana is the mother of two teen-age boys. Dana says, “As a mom, I experience the challenges, the uncertainties and the joys of parenthood every day.” Amen to that!

“There is such a thing as sacred idleness.” ~George MacDonald

This quote best summarizes the message of this podcast. Children need free, unscheduled time to develop optimally. In fact, the term “sacred idleness” aptly applies. Why? Because filling ever moment of our kids’ lives with activities or apps, gives them no time to “go inside” and learn about themselves. When children are “bored” they must find a way out of the uncomfortable place into a renewed, heighted state of being, that came about exactly because they were “bored.” This is a necessary process for the development of our kids’ competence and autonomy.

Gloria and Dana discuss the challenges for parents in today’s hectic world to find free time for their children. It isn’t always easy, but it’s always worth it. And they share plenty of do-able activities that can be implemented slowly and steadily for fine results. Tune in to hear more about these advantages of intentionally creating free time in your child’s life:

• Grows the child’s inner life

• Helps de-stress and relax them

• Initiates important qualities such as perseverance, and patience

• Catalyzes their creativity and intrinsic motivation

• Helps them appreciate the life around them—they see and experience the world in deeper, more meaningful ways. This leads them to understand themselves in new ways, too.

The advantages of making the effort to carve out free time for kids is well worth it. Soon, they are more autonomous, happier beings—making parenting more easeful and that much more satisfying. Plus…we get to see more sides to our children than we ever imagined. With more free time, they become more themselves…you can’t buy an app for that!

The Parent Coaching Corner™
The Parent Coaching Corner™ will resume as soon as scheduling permits. We anticipate within one-three weeks.

Parent Well in our Digital World – Preventing Youth Violence Through Media Literacy

Gloria DeGaetano, founder of The Parent Coaching Institute, talks with Rona Zlokower, Executive Director of Media Power Youth. Based in Manchester, NH, Media Power Youth is a nonprofit 501(c)(3) working statewide and nationally in collaboration with health and prevention programs, school districts, communities, research institutions, businesses and foundations to provide a continuum of evidence based, health-focused media literacy education for youth, parents, and professionals. Media Power Youth serves children and teens, parents, and professionals through their lectures, conference keynotes, workshops, and grassroots collaborations to bring media literacy education to schools and communities.

“Media Power Youth has become a model public health/media literacy program that all communities would do well to adopt.”
– Dr. Michael Rich, MD, MPH, Director of Center on Media and Child Health at Children’s Hospital Boston

In writing about media violence in her book with Lt. Col. Dave Grossman, Stop Teaching Our Kids to Kill: A Call to Action Against TV, Movie, and Video Game Violence, Gloria compiled the convincing research that demonstrates media violence as a significant factor in youth violence. Much evidence continues to verify this. For instance, in a February 2013 report on youth violence by the National Science Foundation, media violence was listed as one of the top three risk factors. In fact, it is right up there with access to guns and mental health.

But media violence is the one significant factor in youth violence that we all can do something about. Parents play a pivotal role in supplying kids with important protective factors to “immunize” them against potential negative effects. A terrific resource for parents, Media Power Youth has developed programs and now a statewide initiative in New Hampshire that tackles youth violence at its core—by teaching media literacy to counter the potential negative influences of media violence. We know from the research that on-going exposure to violent imagery can affect kids in four basic ways:
Increase aggression
Increase fear
Increase de-sensitization to real and on-screen violence
Increase in appetite for more violence
Join this conversation to find out more about the risk factors and what can be done about them. Then contact Media Power Youth to find out how you can bring their evidence-based, comprehensive media literacy curriculum to your child’s school. Media Power Youth asks on its website:


Tune in to this podcast as a first step toward empowerment and invite a teen you know and love to do the same!

The Parent Coaching Corner™
The Parent Coaching Corner™ will resume as soon as scheduling permits. We anticipate within one-three weeks.

Parent Well in our Digital World – The Family Meeting Makes Your Life Easier

Gloria, founder of The Parent Coaching Institute, talks with PCI Certified Parent Coach® Sheila Wenger. Sheila, the mother of twins, a boy and girl, currently age 7 is also a Lead Instructor with Parent Coach International. Sheila coaches parents—individuals or couples—through her coaching company The Parent Partner . Based in Vancouver, WA, Sheila works with moms and dads in her community and also coaches parents across the country. She is a sought-after parent coach because she brings her passion, wisdom, and practical approach to each and every coaching session. She is truly the “Partner” moms and dads appreciate, respect, and love working with!

“Come out of the circle of time…And into the circle of love.” ~Rumi

This quote from Rumi summarizes the podcast best. So often in our busy days with kids, their schedules, our work and the never-ending grueling cycle day-in and day out, we are caught in the “circle of time.” The Family Meeting provides a way out of time and into relaxed conversation, opening space for new possibilities, and inviting more participation from our kids on all levels—cooperation around the house, more emotional investment in the happiness of the family, and better understanding of what this “business of living” actually means—all within a “circle of love.”

Gloria and Sheila discuss the advantages of The Family Meeting, along with the wonderful results—short-term and long term—that occur with regular family meetings. They share success stories with their own children—how and why they got started and the many positive differences they saw which kept them at it. And they discuss what they offer their coaching clients in terms of ways to get started including how to organize the family meeting for maximum benefits.

Listen to this podcast and find out:
Why family meetings help children and teens feel more relaxed and less stressed.
Why family meetings can extinguish negative behaviors and promote more cooperative behaviors.
Three important advantages of family meetings that bring parents and children together, resulting in more family fun.
How the family meeting makes life so much easier for both parents and kids!

The Parent Coaching Corner™
The Parent Coaching Corner™ will begin for this season on January 20. Be sure to tune in!

Parent Well in our Digital World – Resurrect the Family Meal

Part One: Guest Interview
Gloria, founder of  (The Parent Coaching InstitutePCI) and author of Parenting Well in a Media Age, talks with PCI Certified Parent Coach® Peggy Fitzpatrick, educator and the owner of Parent Resources, LLC. Peggy Fitzpatrick offers parent coaching, parenting classes and support programs that help everydayparents meet the challenges of raising children and strengthening their parent/child relationship. As a mom of 6 grown children (and grandmother of 7) Peggy’s real world experiences combine well with her professional training to make parents feel comfortable discussing their challenges, and then co-create solutions in a safe non-judgmental environment to achieve the family life they envision.

Do you know what is the most significant factor in high school students getting high SAT scores for college entrance? Are the high scorers those who have high grades? OR Those who come from educated families? OR Those who are wealthy? Well, those are important factors, but not the most significant factor. The most significant factor is how often those high school students talked with their parents as elementary students in family conversations over dinner. YES! Family dinner nights with our children give them a major boost for doing well on college entrance exams.

Yet, as our world rapidly changes with technological advancements family mealtime suffers. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to gather family members. And when they do gather, chances are each individual has their head in a smart phone or a digital tablet. Sadly, a rich opportunity for relationship building is missed.

In this podcast, Peggy shares concrete ideas and creative ways to think about the family meal. She calls it the “family glue” that holds the family together. How true! The gathering around food is such fabulous opportunity for group nurturing—having fun together, building family memories and building relationships at the same time—in a caring, loving environment, what can be more powerful! Family meals also teach kids the art of conversation—a dying art in a digital age, sadly. Tweeting and posting do not allow for listening to the other. It’s that simple, yet that complicated—how to make time to make sure family mealtime is a priority? Peggy provides compelling information that hopefully will compel you to make family time a priority!

Parent Two: The Parent Coaching Corner™
The Parent Coaching Corner will resume with the January 13, 2014 podcast.