CONSCIOUS COMMUNICATION FOR LIVING PAST LIFE’S OVERWHELMING CHALLENGES
In today’s episode of “Healing From Within.” your host Sheryl Glick author of The Living Spirit Answers for Healing and Infinite Love a story of awakening to your true energetic and physical duality and finding ways to know yourself and the world with clarity awe and wisdom is delighted to welcome a Mary Shores to discuss her new book Conscious Creation.
As listeners of Healing From Within are aware Sheryl and her guests share intimate experiences thoughts and growing awareness for life in all its possibilities in order to answer questions to age old questions such as Who are we? , What is life really all about? And how we can improve our thoughts actions and behaviors to create ways to deal with our many challenges. In our beginning to know ourselves as multi-dimensional beings we can learn to accept allow and surrender to both the tragedies and miracles of life.
In today’s episode Mary Shores who is a single mother divorcee and business owner shares helpful tools and understandings she has gathered to help us overcome adversity, break down barrier beliefs, set attainable goals, and take action to creating a life in alignment with needs and desires. Mary has spent over a decade teaching businesses and individuals how to inspire others, create new ways of thinking identify goals and take action to create meaningful results. She is the creator of the groundbreaking Words that Work System which supports thoughtful communication skills.
Mary tells us that after a rough childhood, the devastating death of my first child, the creation of my own successful and unique collection agency, an unexpected and messy divorce, raising an autistic son, and the ups and downs of over 40 years of life, she discovered that she had an immense well of resilience. She developed tools that could help herself and others empower themselves to create the life they had always imagined. Her greatest dream was for Hay House to publish her book, but there was a hitch—She kept saying to herself, “I want to write a book, but I’m not a writer.” Inside our mind, we all have this little committee that is constantly criticizing us, and each time we allow that committee to take control, we are actually making it stronger, reinforcing the neural pathways created by the belief system that gave us those thoughts in the first place. . But eventually I realized this was only bringing more mess and struggle to my life. What I had to do was be deliberate about the things coming out of my mouth. I would stop myself from complaining midsentence. I started saying instead, My life is easy and effortless. Sometimes it would be too hard for me to actually say the words, so I would write them down instead. My life is easy and effortless. My life is easy. I have a life of joy. Those words worked. Words are incredibly powerful, and the right words worked in my personal life, and they worked in my business.
After Mary went to a Tony Robbins event in 2005, she began her journey of personal development new ways of perceiving her life and it changed everything for her. She came away from that conference with two basic but life-changing ideas: what you focus on grows, and always know your outcome.
Her concept of Conscious Communication helped her to grow a business filled with the intention to do the right thing for myself and clients and to use Conscious Communication for effective results personally and in business.
Conscious Communications is a simple process that consists of eliminating negative language, using words that work, and focusing on what you want. We start with a very basic principle: stop saying negative words. We have a “Do Not Say” list that includes words like no, not, and can’t. We replace them with words like I’m happy to check into that for you, or I want to assure you that we’re going to be able to help you with this, and we always say what we can do instead of what we can’t. You may be thinking that this sounds impractical for your day-to-day life, but I’m here to tell you that changing your words has the ability to change your life, and Mary shows us how.
DO NOT SAY LIST
This book—and this process—is about creating reality. The words we use when we talk to ourselves and to others have an enormous impact on our life. We manifest our own reality through what we speak about, what we think about, what our belief systems are, and how we feel. This has to do with the way our brain evolved and the way we use our mind.
You can prime yourself to feel good. If you already feel good, then you can prime yourself to feel even better than you do right now, You do this through exercising that muscle of choice. As with any muscle you have to make the commitment to strengthen it and keep it active. Mary is committed to showing you how to change the way you feel by giving you the tools she has found so far from living through over 40 years on this earth. The countless hours of therapy she’s had, the mistakes she’s made, the miracles she’s witnessed, and the darkest parts of herself all have a purpose . Even to this day, Mary as indeed each of us is still healing The difference is, that now she has found her way to live awake and aware, but without the constant suffering. As the Buddha famously said, “Pain is part of life; suffering is optional.”
Mary shares the science behind our belief systems:
Our emotional connection to people, circumstances, and events affects what we believe. Through her research Mary has found that, unlike other animals, humans develop their belief systems in three often interchangeable but distinct ways:
- By learning from and observing our families
- By learning through our early childhood experiences
- By participating in our culture and community
This is how our total environment makes up our belief systems. Seeing how broad this is, let’s look at how neural pathways are created and how belief systems are born. If you can, picture an image of a brain whose neural networks are lit up, with blue impulses moving swiftly through its circuitry. In that brain there are hundreds of billions of neurons, and in between each neuron is a gap, which is called a synapse. When a brain has a thought, an electrical impulse moves from one neuron to the next, creating a pathway in the synapse that, when travelled frequently enough, will become a default pathway between those two (or more) neurons. This is why 90 to 95 percent of our thoughts each day are the same as the day before.
When we believe a story that reinforces an emotional blockage, we’re also reinforcing a neural pathway. Our beliefs become a barrier that holds us back from achieving our desires. We adopt these “barrier beliefs” because we want to protect ourselves from some perceived threat; but keeping a barrier belief that is actively disconnecting us from possible joy in life is rarely intentional. As it turns out, the bulk of our programming—both conscious and subconscious—happens when we aren’t actively seeking out what our programming is or could be. In my case, while my childhood home life was challenging at times, my mom did much better for me than her mom did for her.
Mary tells us that the limiting beliefs she created as a child grew to be a whole system of limiting beliefs that shaped her choices and behaviors as an adult. It kept tripping her up, disconnecting her from forward momentum and keeping her from achieving her goals. Over time she had to find a way to build a new mind-set so that she could be free from the ways that of her previous belief system held me back. Sheryl responds saying most of us are dealing with subconscious childhood patterns of rejection abandonment loss and trust issues and need to learn to let go of the illusion of these ego based thoughts in order to create more positive thoughts, words, and actions and new perceptions leading to a new reality.
Sheryl feels that science and spirituality actually work together to explain energy, physical and Universal life, and we all fall in the middle of both fields of study: open minded at times and constricted often about life, death, and how to create our best life. As a medium and intuitive healer who feels energy and knows that Spirit is real and that personal experiences led each of us to greater awareness and higher consciousness, the ability to co-create with the challenges and situations asking and seeking help as we face life more effectively with positive mantras, affirmations, visions, dreams and meditations that allow the body to receive guidance and support. Sheryl personally wakes up each morning moving past her own challenges to say, “I am in a fit and healthy body and face the day with the intention to share a smile love and goodwill with everyone I meet.” The hope is to enjoy life and to do the best she can without bringing fear or doubt into the equation. We almost will ourselves to be the best version of living well according to Spirit’s hope for us.
Mary tells us that answers to the questions below are indicators for the tone of how you react to scenarios with which you are faced. So try to ask yourself how you feel and respond in difficult situations and you will soon see that your reaction either effectively releases or reinforces these same challenges.
- During times of crisis, am I focused on the problem or the solution?
- Do I imagine worst possible outcomes? Do I ever ask myself, what is the worst thing that could happen? (Hint: when you ask and answer this question realistically, it will usually defuse the anxiety to a more reasonable and appropriate level for the situation at hand.)
- What is my possible solution? How can I focus on that instead of the problem?
- What can I do about this? (Instead of thinking of all the things you can’t do.)
How did your answers sound? While it’s not black-and-white (and rarely is anything ever that), reflecting on our behavior and reactions around crises often tells us more about where we’re unconsciously putting our focus even when things are not in a state of alarm.
Sheryl writes in her book The Living Spirit, “It is only when we create within ourselves a sense of personal power, courage self-love and bravery that we can embrace both the gift of life and the challenges that the universe offers us. Along the way we will all have experiences we perceive of as negative: divorce loss of love or friendship, painful confrontations or betrayal in professional or family situations and illness. The important thing to understand is that while any of these events may seem difficult in the present moment, once you understand that even our most challenging experiences are opportunities for spiritual expansion, you will experience an enormous shift in awareness.”
Mary and Sheryl go on to discuss the concept of probabilities and how probabilities impact our listeners. We all have unlimited probabilities—anything at all could happen. It’s the choices we make from moment to moment that determines our future, leading us to a variety of magical adventures. So how do you make sure you’re making the right choices— choices that will increase the probability that you will lead the life you want? Let’s start with something most of us struggle with at one time or another—our finances. Money is energy. It’s an exchange. How you take in that energy and how you give it out really determines your financial outcome. Throughout Mary’s life she has always felt as though she was the richest person in the world. She really believed it. She felt abundant. And that abundance has grown with her confidence in my abilities.
The only financial, physical, and mental diet she ever followed was the idea of “cleanse or clog.” All she does is look at a piece of food and say, “Will this cleanse me or clog me?” And if it’s going to clog me, I use the 80/20 rule. Eighty percent of the time, I eat something cleansing, and then 20 percent of the time, I can have that piece of chocolate or cake or coffee or whatever it is that I choose. “Cleanse or clog” works in all areas of life. Think about removing or repositioning every choice or behavior that does not serve your core desire. Balance and moderation go hand in hand with the cleanse or clog philosophy.
When you hear thought leaders say you need to be “in alignment,” this is what they are referring to. When Mary used to hear that phrase, she would think, What the heck does that mean? It took her a long time to understand this idea of alignment, and how we spend much of our life out of alignment because we are making choices that are not authentic, that aren’t a match with what we really desire. Beautiful things can happen when we detach ourselves from all those things that are not going to get us closer to what we really want.
So how do we do that?
Thoughts are beautiful things, and so are words. The heart of Conscious Communications is the idea that you can create your own reality—and you can do so using words and thoughts. The five types of expressions are self-talk, spoken words, affirmations, goals, and gratitude.
Self-talk. Self-talk exists in the conscious mind, and it passes through as instructions to the subconscious mind. Our subconscious mind doesn’t know what is “bad” or “good,” it only knows what we tell it. This is why I often compare it to a computer, in the way it runs programs based on our commands. What we say to ourselves are “instructions,” and these are brought into reality by our subconscious mind. This is how self-talk creates our reality.
Spoken words. What you talk about is a mirror of what is inside your mind. In order to immerse yourself in the lifeyou want to create, you must use deliberately aligned speech. Whether you realize it or not, the words you speak are what you are affirming for your life. The words you use, whether they are your thoughts or are spoken aloud, have a big impact on you. Create the reality you want in spoken words, bringing them to life outside of your mind.
Affirmations. Affirmations are declarations. You assert that what you want to be true is true. Through the creation and repetition of words or phrases, affirmations become a tool to reprogram your mind. We all have a daily practice of repeating affirmations and mantras, even if we don’t realize it. We have built this daily practice over time, and the more often we choose a word or phrase to focus on, the more natural the practice becomes for us. In time these new words and phrases will change who we are.
Goals. There’s plenty of scientific research out there that says that the difference between people who achieve success in life and those who do not is that the achievers regularly write goals for themselves and follow a plan to make the goals happen. Written goals demonstrate the desire to achieve something; they are a tool to create a specific intention that connects to a desired achievement.
Gratitude. Gratitude can be a feeling (emotion) and/or an attitude (mind-set). It’s what we use to acknowledge a benefit that we have received or will receive. Gratitude is a fundamental quality within us all—every language in the world has a way of saying thank you. Gratitude as an attitude or mind-set implies that we have voluntarily made a choice to focus on the good we have. Gratitude puts situations into perspective. Remember that we create our own reality, and when we focus on looking for the good, it becomes easier for us to spot that good with less effort. By practicing awareness of the positive things in life, we fight off the brain’s natural tendency to scan for, and spot, the negatives. As a result we train our brain to be more positive and see more possibilities—enabling us to make more positive choices. These are the tools and expressions of reinventing life as you wish to live it.
Remember that for years and years the thoughts you’ve had have circulated throughout your brain, creating neural networks, making those patterns your natural default. The person you are today was conditioned by this repetition. By making your affirmations real and personal, you will make different choices and align yourself with your desires. Practicing affirmations daily will reprogram your brain, creating new neural pathways, a new perspective, a host of new ideas, and a path to experiences that will make your affirmations your new default. Keep going! Every day brings you closer to what it is that you truly desire.
That’s why, if you want to change your reality, you need to change your thoughts with purpose. If you focus on something new, something better, your life can change. Just like when I focused on wanting the next person who calls to be happier at the end of the call—that thought changed my entire world. Of course, there is more to it than just thought. Our conscious mind is very powerful, but our subconscious is no slouch—and is harder to control. Our subconscious creates and maintains our belief systems through synapses and neural pathways that get more and more ingrained over time. What we believe controls much of what we create in our life, and so many of us are held back by our limiting beliefs. I think of them as barrier beliefs, because if you have a negative belief system, it doesn’t just limit you, it actually puts a wall between you and your dreams. Remember, I had that dream to write a book but I kept telling myself that I wasn’t a writer. So it didn’t matter how hard I focused on that dream—as long as I had that “barrier belief,” there was no way for me to get over that wall. I had to learn how to break through that barrier first.
Let’s talk about fear. Fear walks along with our barrier beliefs. Fear gets in the way of everything. Think about when you’ve just given birth to a new idea. Either you’ll take action or you’ll talk yourself out of it. And usually you talk yourself out of it, because fear steps in and blocks your path. This is the most important thing Mary wishes to tell you: Take action anyway. Even if fear is standing in the way, go ahead. Don’t wait. There is a reason you had this thought, this idea. Take action anyway. Stop talking yourself out of it. Just take one little step. Taking just that one little step in a new direction will open up 10,000 new probabilities for you. The truth is that we have no limitations— none—except for the ones that we box ourselves in with. They are all 100 percent self-created.
Understanding your brain and neurological system and how beliefs can cause distress and dysfunction can help you clear cleanse and regulate your body in a state of wellness.
Managing the Toxic Buildup:
- Exercise. Take the time to get the chemicals out of your body through physical activity. Some forms of exercise, like running, burn off the stress hormones, which is absolutely necessary, while others, like yoga, stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system, promoting growth, healing, and regeneration.
- Control your sensory input. Avoid exposing yourself to stressful, violent television, high-stress physical environments, and any experience that creates tension in one of your sensory areas, such as what you see, hear, feel, smell, and taste.
- Do things to stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system. Adopt a relaxation practice. Perhaps consciously measure your breathing. Or lightly rub your bottom lip from one side to the other and back with your finger, which awakens those nerve endings, quickening the body’s restoration to a prestress state.
- Avoid talking on your cell phone on the drive home. You know that the person you call is going to bitch about their day, and someone who’s been waiting for you to get off work so they can unload is not the best person to talk to. Give yourself some transition time between work and home.
- Surround yourself with positivity. Listen to an uplifting story or audio-book, or read something pleasing to you.
- Properly nourish your body. Drink plenty of water and eat foods that keep your mood balanced, as opposed to food or drink that is likely to cause a spike in either direction (like sugar or excess alcohol).
- Get a full night’s sleep. The average person needs seven to eight hours of sleep each night, and sleep is very important to your health and healing.
- Adopt a vitamin regimen. Take supplements to help encourage the body’s natural production of serotonin or dopamine, like ginkgo biloba or curcumin.
- Do your research. But don’t self-diagnose or guess at supplementation. Don’t hesitate to get help from a naturopath
The term “Living in Alignment” as a true way of being connected to the Universe and Spirit is an attitude we should aspire to.
Sheryl suggests that in order to live in alignment means to know first that we are energy beings connected to all other energy, never alone, and that nothing in life is random. To live in alignment to our personal needs and spiritual growth and to know our life plan and destiny so we can remember who we are and commit to follow our personalized soul agenda leads to greater acceptance of life’s challenges and to being able to surrender without resistance and undue emotional suffering and simply to do the very best we can with whatever happens. As energy shifts and we move through the trauma or drama we are free once again to profess and move towards our true goal to be happy and allow life to unfold as it will.
Mary says…. if you want to change your life—whether big changes or smaller ones—you just have to remember these two things:
- All it takes to begin (or continue) your journey is a step in the direction of what you want.
- Every time you make a new choice, you are opening up an infinite number of new opportunities in your life.
Another exercise Mary would offer involves journaling. “She truly believes the intimacy of writing to yourself is the best way to really examine your own thoughts and actions. Go ahead and pick out a notebook—something beautiful that inspires you to write. Keep a pen and highlighter handy so that you can make notes and emphasize the sections that you want to remember. This journal is only for you, so please let yourself be honest while engaging in the exercises. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. By reading Mary’s book, you are committing to creating a better version of yourself. You have the resolve to take the necessary steps toward creating goals and achieving them.”
Sheryl shares with Mary that the greatest truth and bit of knowledge she has been privileged to discover is that each of us are spiritual beings having a physical life that affords us the opportunity to refine our soul energy, and to grow in compassion and love. When we transcend this physical life … life continues. As a medium and intuitive healer Sheryl tries to share a love of all living things: both in this dimension and beyond, and show it is possible to conquer the fears and limitations of past experiences, traumas and karma.
Mary tells us why she wanted to be published by Hay House. After seeing Louise Hay’s film “You Can Heal Your Life” life changed. Mary had never heard of Louise Hay, Hay House, or the film before, but by the end of the opening scene, she found herself dissolved into a rainforest of tears. In the first scene, a woman in the car berates and bullies herself in unspoken but pervasively critical ways. She says things like: I’m so stupid. I hate this. I’m such an idiot. I always do this. Why did I take the 580? I’m going to be late. I look like the walking dead . . . Why am I always acquiescing to everyone?
Mary felt like that woman! The film touched parts of myself that she had hidden even from herself. She couldn’t explain how I’d avoided seeing how wounded she was. In that moment, to reclaim my life, Mary instantly decided to write a book. There weren’t any doubts in my mind at all. I found that pulse of possibility in my own life again.
Mary wrote, “Looking back, I realize why the film had such a profound impact on me. To survive traumas in life is one thing; I had that skill down. But to actually rebound, recover, and thrive after trauma is another thing altogether. I was a survivor, but I wasn’t thriving. And I definitely hadn’t recovered. While the devastation and betrayal that went along with my divorce felt like a huge inciting event, the truth that my limiting beliefs went much deeper than that recent series of events stared me right in the face. It was no wonder the movie brought me to a place where I sobbed uncontrollably.”
In summarizing today’s episode of “Healing From Within” we have shared Mary Shores concept of Conscious Communication as a system and style of living in order to find the reality of our multi-dimensional being and how to use that awareness to begin to monitor all thoughts, words and actions as we learn to master the emotions and responses we have in both our individual and group interactions. We find greater love for ourselves and others as we move past judgment and learn to accept everyone and everything as they are on their own path for learning healing and growing and find our way to know what we need and want to create in our own lives. Living authentically we find happiness and peace.
Mary wrote “Our psyche is so deep that I don’t think neuroscience has even scratched the surface of how vast consciousness really is. Some people think that space is the final frontier. I believe it’s consciousness. Our consciousness is so vast that we can’t necessarily get to the “core belief” every time………
The truth is that we have no limitations— none—except for the ones that we box ourselves in with. They are all 100 percent self-created. If you can learn to live 100 percent authentically in choices and behaviors that connect you to the future you want, your life will change so fast you will start using the word miracle on a daily basis. Miracles are such easy things to create. You just have to know how to be open to them.”
Mary and Sheryl would share our gratefulness to have found and mastered our own source of divinity and our desire to share with you our hope for us all to continue to delve deep within to the heart and soul of our magnificent potential, and to allow accept and surrender to life, as it is, and as we create it anew in each choice we make, learning to accept every person experience and challenge with courage and love. Live your best life!