ALCOHOL DRUGS YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN
In today’s episode of “Healing From Within” your host Sheryl Glick author of Life Is No Coincidence and The Living Spirit which shares stories of spiritual awakening communication healing energies miracles and ways to develop and utilize your intuitive wisdom. Today I welcome Marc Treitler author of Alcohol Drugs and You which his daughter Lianna worked with him on in order to share their personal journey of success in dealing with alcoholism and learning the actual facts to help young people deal with challenges in their own lives and to make good choices to avoid spiraling into a lifetime of addiction and suffering.
Sheryl directs listeners to the radio link of her website September 2018 www.sherylglick.com to listen to Marc discuss his first book Alcoholism Is A Disease Let’s Treat It!
Listeners of “Healing From Within” have come to expect over the years that Sheryl and her guests share intimate experiences along with facts and insights to help us focus on both our energetic presence and physical life so we may begin to recognize Who We Are? and How Best to create a purposeful healthy human and spiritual life journey working our way past illness pain and suffering to health positivity and a prosperous life with love and healthy interactions with family.
In today’s episode of “Healing From Within” Marc Treitler a successful corporate attorney loving husband and father and a recovering alcoholic shares his total growing awareness of the effect alcoholism had on his life until his recovery initiated by his daughter Lianna, along with statistics and information the public needs to know about alcoholism as a disease. Marc and his daughter Lianna are on a mission to reach kids before they become statistics by learning the facts on the abuse issues associated with alcohol and other substances.
When asked to think back to his childhood and remember a person place event dream or thought that was important to them Marc tells us of his first therapist who helped him understand how to deal with alcoholism and gave him a ring telling him it was no coincidence they were here together implying that a certain higher force was at work to support and help Marc move past his own dependence on alcohol so he could help others do the same. Perhaps he had to suffer to understand the seriousness of the disease so he could have a calling and passion to help others. Sheryl who believes nothing in our life is random is delighted Marc realized the synchronicity of that first counselor as a gift from those above.
Marc also tells us about growing up in a family with a history of addiction, Marc Treitler succumbed to alcoholism while in college. Despite a successful corporate career Marc continued to drink until an off- hand comment by his daughter woke him up to the damage his drinking was doing to him and to the relationship he cherished. While in recovery, Marc realized the power of information. It was while teaching his children what he had learned in rehab that the idea for Marc and Lianna’s book took hold. Today through books, speaking and their “Rosebud Foundation” the Treitlers work to help young people stay alcohol and substance free.
Marc tells us something of the pressures that lead him to drink excessively and also the fact that if alcoholism is in the family a child is susceptible to activating the disease even from taking that first drink. Marc suggests this book is for the person who decides to read it as they are moving towards independence and an understanding of their choices, challenges and the destructiveness of substance abuse they may see around them, so they can equip themselves with what it takes to avoid falling into its trap. In most families alcohol is a normal part of entertaining. Many of us see our parents serve drinks to their friends and observe their parents have a glass of wine or beer before dinner. For many of us that is just a part of regular life, and we are lead to believe we must follow this pattern. But for kids to reach adolescence without having some exposure to adults drinking alcohol is nearly impossible.
What you may not realize is the potential for these substances to take over your life and make you dependent on them forever.
Sheryl tells Marc that she just looked at an issue of US magazine and opened to a page showing everyone holding a glass of wine or alcohol and the caption was “Wine-Down Time” The media and advertisers have been promoting a culture of abuse of all kinds: verbal sexual addiction and a lack of respect for family values for a long time. The thought, “Anything goes” which of course is not true, has become the mainstay of our personal attitudes and behaviors. It must change for the many ills of our cultural decline to improve.
Despite the volume of accumulated medical knowledge about alcoholism many still think it is a choice. When does drinking stop being a choice? Marc tells us drinking or any addiction stops being a choice when you do not have the knowledge that might have stopped you from activating a disease which once activated needs to be controlled for the rest of one’s life. If our children are taught some of the following ideas we might prevent many from becoming alcoholics.
- By the age of 13 most kids are exposed to an opportunity to use alcohol or other addictive substances and many fall prey to them. Some just want to seem to be cool and be accepted by their friends and some want to follow the example of someone they like or admire.
- More families have members with alcohol-abuse problems than we might think. In fact more than 30 percent of Americans have dealt with Alcohol Abuse Disorder.
- It is estimated that one in twelve Americans has a substance abuse problem requiring treatment.
- Half of all children of addicts become addicts themselves following in the steps of their addicted parents even though they have seen the misery that comes with the disease.
- You may not know if you have this disease hiding in your genes. Remember that like blue eye color this disease can skip generation so even if your parents are not alcoholics your great grandfather may have been and passed the alcoholic gene to you.
One thing is apparent many addicts have not been about the downside of addiction or the disease hiding in their genes. Marc’s family genetic tree included dozens of addicts and alcoholics which means that he had addiction in his genes.
We go on to define an alcoholic. According to the dictionary a alcoholic is someone who uses alcohol to excess and becomes addicted to it to the detriment of their health and well-being.
Marc writes, “Doctors politicians teachers and addiction specialists have been talking about drug and alcohol addictions for the last hundred years –even at one point legally banning alcohol—and yet the epidemic is getting worse. From one generation to the next, the cycle of addiction worsens.”
An addict is a person who has a disease that makes it almost impossible to stop using drugs or drinking alcohol on his or her own. If your father drinks beer every night, he might have the disease of alcoholism which is also a type of addiction. Experts say that addicts, while unlike non-addicts are “allergic” to drugs and alcohol. This allergy makes it almost impossible to stop drinking or using drugs once he or she have started. While you are more susceptible to becoming an addict if there is addiction in your family the truth is anyone can develop an addiction. The addicts brain reacts differently to certain substances than a non-addicts brain does. It’s like if a person has a peanut allergy and begins to swell up after eating a single peanut while another person has no reaction at all. The addict’s brain says, “Have another drink.” While the non- addict’s brain says, “ Let’s go home.” Remember we’re talking about a disease.
Children of an alcoholic are up to eight times more lightly to become alcoholics than are the children of a non-alcoholic.
Sheryl goes on to say that we are at the present time seeing people addicted to all kinds of stimuli: social media, food binging, shopping, gambling as well as alcoholism excessive exercise practices, drugs pills etc. All are symptoms of an unhappy state within a person and an inability to recognize in some cases that they are using any repetitive form of behavior as an escape.
Sheryl says , “Addiction unhappiness suicides and a general social decline is at an all time high worldwide. The real problem begins with not teaching our children an awareness of Universal Laws of Energy and a metaphysical approach to understanding our spiritual as well as our physical life needs. Sheryl goes on to share that our culture promotes violence, abuse, and the theme that we are entitled to everything we desire or immediate gratification. We are encouraged to believe this as we see this on television, in the movies, in our music, and social media and it is an unrealistic approach to finding happiness as it implies the outside world is what brings happiness and the truth is happiness comes from within with a greater love for Self and Life and workable sustainable values.
There are only two emotions in life and everything else falls into one of the two categories…Fear and Love. Encouraging people to assess their choices by seeing which side of the equation they are in at the moment, as the body soul and mind are in a continual state always moving from fear or unhappiness to love and happiness. Awareness and consciousness of what is truly good for us as souls is what is needed more than ever during these challenging changing times.
The media is busy now talking about Toxic Masculinity and looking to blame an entire group or half of the world population for the problems we are experiencing now. But that is a truly unrealistic way to correct what really is destroying our society…Economic and social injustice and not learning tolerance of all people as they are, not as we expect them to be. Looking to use labels to find answers to problems is ineffective. We cannot simply talk about these problems but must discover and find our way to wholeness, pass addiction, hatred, judgment and negativity. KNOWLEDGE AND TRUTH ARE THE WAY.
Let think about the differences of similarities between alcohol and drug use and abuse. We refer to both addiction and alcoholism which in reality are the same thing. The disease of addiction uses both drugs and alcohol to hook people. So, when we say either drugs or alcohol we mean both. That includes illegal substances such as heroin and legal substances you see advertised such as beer.
The brain of an addict does not care whether drugs or alcohol are entering the addicts system. To your brain alcohol is a drug and drugs are alcohol. For addiction, are drugs different than alcohol and the answer is NO! An alcoholic dad is not different from a drug addict living on the street. A woman hiding bottles of vodka is no different than a man concealing his cocaine. For years Marc justified his alcoholism by saying he never did drugs, yet he ended up in the same rehab as heroin addicts. Whether a person’s drug of choice is heroine or beer, anyone who is unable to stop using the substance is an addict.
Marc writes, “I know addicts who take only pills prescribed by doctor and never drank alcohol, and has known addicts who only smoke marijuana : they avoid beer. Yet they all ended up in the same place. An alcoholic can easily transfer his addition to heroin because his brain treats both substances the same way. To your brain, alcohol is a drug and drugs are alcohol. So if your mom is taking too many pain pills, or your dad is drinking too many beers, they might both be addicted.
Marc tells us that when we think of alcoholics or addicts we tend to think of people whose lives are unproductive people who live on the edges of society yet many alcoholics and addicts are talented intelligent people and can still be successful while drinking yet still they pay a price for diminishing their energy and often not feeling their optimum best. It is indeed very common and often people work and socialize with others having the same addictive issues, so it is denied, overlooked, rationalized, and people function on the fringe of well being not fully present happy or living their full potential for a well balanced joyful life experience. It may be managed like many diseases, but never truly understood or allowing for full disclosure.
It must be know that some people have a genetic predisposition to substance abuse and others don’t. How and when do we know we have that gene and what should be done in that case? Even without being tested for the gene if you are in a family with a mother father sister uncle aunt grandparent who has had an addictive lifestyle, it would be wise to think you could have the predisposition or gene and simply never start with any abusive substance including marijuana, cocaine, opiates, heroin, beer, wine, liquor, crack, Benzoes, valium, or crystal meth, bath salts, or other synthetic drugs It’s all poison
So if your mother father aunt uncle grandparent or great grandparents is or was an alcoholic or drug addict you most likely carry the same predispositions for the disease.
This means you have two choices:
- use drugs or alcohol and potentially become an addict or
- never use alcohol or drugs and keep the disease away
I guess there is no specific age but you could start talking about it before a party or an occasion where people are drinking. Children are very observant and might notice how loud or unpleasant a person who is drinking becomes. Marc says after going through a 28 day program at rehab, I wish I had known about this when I was young. What if during my college years I’d been told that I had a fatal disease and couldn’t drink alcohol like a normal college student. What if I had known that this disease was easy to avoid? And what about the rest of my family? What if my sister and cousins had been informed that youthful experimentation with drugs or alcohol would lead them to a lifetime struggle with addiction.
Sheryl goes on to tell Marc that she has heard President Trump on several occasions say that he has never had an alcoholic drink. It seems his older brother died from addiction alcoholism and other mitigating factors and he told Donald never ever take a drink. Perhaps he understood the disease and that there was a genetic predisposition to becoming an alcoholic. President Trump may drink Diet Coke but not alcohol.
It may get easier to get kids to communicate with parents by doing certain activities together. Perhaps watching television or a movie that shows a family struggling with addiction divorce financial problems can open up a pathway for some healthy talk. Listening to your children’s concerns and observing when they are challenged or struggling with understanding daily events or even tragic events.
Sheryl says, Recently there were two young fathers in my daughter’s community that committed suicide. A sad time indeed for the families and community, but also a good time for an open truthful talk of the conditions affecting us all in these changing challenging times. A way to teach your children that they can and must ask for help…Everyone can find help for their problems.
It bears repeating : non-addicts can drink alcohol and not become alcoholics. People with alcoholism in their genes do not have this luxury. One drink too many in high school or college could turn you into an alcoholic forever. But your predisposition genetically may not turn into a full blown disease. You have the control and now you have the knowledge.
There are signs for kids or parents to see a problem at home. Lianna writes “During the years of my dad’s drinking my parents would often fight. The words they would scream at each other would replay for hours in my head and the sounds would echo in my mind until I fell asleep. I would often pray that my parents would find happiness and that God would blanket our house with His care and make the fighting stop.”
Sheryl says other signs to take note of would be to see how many bottles were accumulating or disappearing, or if your parents seemed more tired and unable to do their normal activities. Sleeping more, less care in taking care of themselves, or the house, not paying attention to the responsibilities they have, or attending important family or work events are all signs that something is amiss.
Some of the ways you may tell if a member of your family is an addicted to alcohol or drugs.
- Do your parents fight about the amount of alcohol or drugs one or both of them use.
- Does either of your parents drink or use drugs every day?
- Has either of your parents been arrested for driving under the influence also called a DUI?
- Has your mom or dad lost a job because of drug or alcohol use?
- Does your parent’s drinking or drug use result in odd or bizarre behavior.
Identifying an addict in your family tree will help you understand the disease you may face.
We are watching now as marijuana is being legalized in many states. Marc and Sheryl are truly disturbed by how politicians are fueling and pushing laws to legalize recreational use of this drug. Marc tells us that only today a new study shows that marijuana diminishes cognitive function and a loss of intellect or IQ points in our young people whose brains are still maturing until the age of twenty five.
Marc addressed this situation by saying our country is in the midst of a troubling trend of legalizing marijuana and on January 1, 2018 California became the latest state to make recreational use or marijuana legal along with Oregon Washington Colorado and Nevada and virtually to use this drug in the same way as alcohol is used. Sheryl says, ”I am seriously disheartened to see the way local states are using this to provide money. It is obvious they have no understanding of easy it is for our children to become addicts and how these substances act differently in the brains of one predisposed to becoming an addict. Marijuana will only serve to be a gateway drug to other addictive substances.
Marc agrees with Sheryl that making marijuana legal is a horrifying idea for our children and non productive for our nation, and in the end will continue to cost us more to combat the opiod and drug crisis. There is a massive amount of power and wealth behind this legalization effort, but like other attempts to control populations this effort is consistently incompatible with the well-being of our society. According to Arcview Market Research’s 2017 report legal sales of marijuana are expected to surpass $22 billion by 2020..suntan production in 2016 was only 1.6 billion…The increase in profits is all that matters here.
Here are a few legitimate statistics to bear in mind:
- In Colorado the Colorado Children’s Hospital saw a 400% increase in marijuana intoxicated teenagers after legalization
- The US Government via its National Survey on Drug Use and Health in 2013 found that people addicted to marijuana are 300 % more likely to become addicted to heroin than those not addicted to marijuana
- Yale researchers found that individuals who used marijuana in the past were 250% more likely to abuse prescription pills than those who had not used marijuana
- There are many more examples of statistics showing the damaging effects of marijuana
- Marijuana has a few similarities to alcohol one being that tolerance are built up over time for heavy users. The alcoholic and marijuana addicts must use more and more of the substance to achieve the same results over time.
Marijuana is absolutely addictive and is the “ambition killer” in people. In a socialized society like the Far Left Radical political left is pushing for a disengaged and dying population would make perfect sense. Getting high and chilling out is actually the death of creation and positive life styles. We cannot allow government corporate interests or the stagnant status quo leadership try to guide us to more control over all areas of our life in the pursuit of making more profits. We need an alert and educated population to protect our Republic and democratic way of life.
It is clear to anyone who has a love of life our country and young people that this push for the legalization of marijuana gambling or any dysfunctional activity is making money for the rich and a detriment to middle class society. It must be stopped.
Parents must work to create an environment where competition and parental expectations do not overwhelm their children and help our children explore what they need to create happiness self esteem and self confidence.
Sheryl writes in her book The Living Spirit “When asked, “How can I find peace and happiness in my life? This is the answer I give them: Before there can be peace and happiness in a person’s life and in the world, every person must be responsible to do their own work about acknowledging what needs to change within their attitudes or actions so that they may better relate to the outer world. Finding true happiness and joy is the natural outcome of self-investigation. There are no shortcuts. No one can make you happy or unhappy unless you give them the power to do that by surrendering or giving your own power away.” Marc tells Sheryl that thought is a strong message of AA and any rehab program..
Marc and his daughter Lianna suggest some tools or practices for raising an emotionally healthy child. Have them engage in healthy activities: sports, clubs, reading, family events, working for charities. And simply talking to you and you asking them personal open ended questions…Really listen beyond the words while watching body language and what makes them change moods. Respect their opinions and if you can suggest other ways of doing or perceiving events discuss that but don’t diminish their feelings. Setting a good example by your own behavior is a must and getting professional help if you see your child or any member of your family or friends is running into trouble. Be very aware of limiting time on social media and pay attention to theirr friends and the families where they spend time. You probably don’t want them with people who you know are alcoholics or show other addictive problematic behaviors.
According to the CDC our children are starting to abuse alcohol as early as age 8 and the stats on young driver alcohol related deaths are staggering. So why knowing this, is the country now set on a course to make marijuana for recreational use legal. Sheryl says she has actually spoken to many parents who feel it’s better than alcohol for their children. They are so unaware of the consequences and problems. They are just being feed talking points by the media and or political pendants.
Once there is an addiction problem the best solution is to begin discussions and find a rehab program and counselor. Marc says in his research he has discovered that addict families are less likely to discuss serious issues than non-addict families are. Addict families tend to bottle up emotions and often treat family issues with a “better off not spoken” about attitude. But the reality is with drugs and alcohol as available as they are these days and with so many dysfunctional families, a conversation about the dangers inherent in them is absolutely necessary. The average American child begins drinking in middle school The conversation should start before that.
Marc would want readers to take away with them after reading your new book Alcohol Drugs and You-A Young Person’s Guide to Avoiding Addiction that there are four stages of alcoholism and other addictions. Addiction is a progressive disease In other words over time it gets worse not better. Alcoholics do not grow out of it.
The stages are:
- Experimentation/Adaptive Stage This often begins in the teenage years
- Dependence People feel a physical and mental need to drink or use drugs. They plan their social events around drugs/alcohol
- Progression People lose control of their urges drinking more and more frequently. Parents may neglect their children and make excuses In this stage it is very common for a person to lose their job get arrested or get divorced.
- Final Stage People who have not had help always end up going to jail, living in a mental institution or dying. They cannot function without the daily consumption of their drug of choice. People in this stage often suffer permanent damage to parts of their body such as their liver stomachs lungs and brains.
Sheryl thanks Marc and Lianna Treitler for working to help others to avoid falling into a lifetime trap of alcoholism or any other addiction by beginning to recognize the behaviors and lifestyle that foster such action. We learn that everyone is constantly moving from the negative feelings of fear anxiety pain to the positive spectrum of life joy happiness and positivity and every interaction and event lead us to be part of that dynamic. When in pain and negative emotional states a person is susceptible to finding relief and that is how an addiction is born. A more open minded and open hearted approach to loving your children and life are the ways for better communication and understanding of individual needs which must be observed and then respected.
In summarizing today’s episode of “Healing from Within” we have touched on a very serious concern in modern day American Society. In a world where materialism and success is measured in monetary and socially accepted ways to relate to the world, our children are losing bits and pieces of their innate energetic or soul essence which naturally knows that, life is good, and individual development of our personal needs is necessary to bring joy positivity and success on a multi-dimensional level, spiritual and physical world realty. We say we want our children to be happy, but then expose them to conditions, rules, and our expectations for choosing friends, hobbies, work situations, and even how they spend their quiet free time. In other words our children are either living with parents who monitor their every action, and control their very thoughts, or living with parents who have their own societal and emotional distresses, and are not present at all. It is in helping all our citizens understand the nature of Life, and how to create a better life by becoming aware of their thoughts actions and behaviors, that we may begin to understand how our emotional well being is the key to avoiding or conquering addictive behavior. It all begins with education and our values, including an acceptance of people,and allowing each of us to find our own path forward without so much judgment and restriction.
Marc Lianna and I would hope you know that no matter how challenging your situation or problem may be, the first step on the road to knowing yourself and loving life begins with asking questions, observing patterns, building self-confidence, self-love, and asking for help when needed. Before you know it, life improves and there is a way past the darkness to light.