Words Can Hurt
Words most definitely can hurt so choose them wisely. Our kids are listening. This episode is based on the book Words Choose Wisely by Paolo Iglesias.
I grew up with the expression “Sticks and Stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me” and you know what. It’s not true. I think the saying was designed to give us a snarky comeback when you’re up against the wall with no other way to retaliate. Kind of like “I know you are but am I” these childhood defense mechanisms may be useful sometimes but the truth is words can hurt. Words are powerful. Speaking as an adult, have you ever sat on a jury and heard the judge say, “…the jury will disregard that testimony”? It’s hard to forget what was said especially if the words were powerful; and when words are used against you for a prolonged period of time it can create a very real problem.
People who have been Bullied are at a major risk factor for poor physical and mental health. If you’re young it can harm your ability to form lasting relationships. If you’re old it becomes hard to integrate into a workplace which in turn has an economic impact. Words can hurt. Most definitely.
Paolo (Expressive) ...and it’s all about how you use your words because the same word can have a very different meaning and the tone you use and how you express it. That’s quite important.
That is Paolo Iglesias and she wrote a book about all this so we can learn how to teach the impact of words and how to use them properly to our kids.
Paolo (Hi this is Paolo) My name is Paulo Iglesias. This is my first book.
It is called “Words Choose Wisely”.
Paolo (Words Choose Wisely)Words Choose Wisely is about knowing what you say to people and the impact that might have on them. it’s not something that you can’t control. That was something that led me to write the book because it’s not just on a personal note but it’s something that can affect everybody.
True, bullying does not discriminate and it’s a global problem that is often mistaken as a right of passage into adulthood. Can we call that an urban myth or just an incorrect statement? Anyway this book finds its inspiration in the author’s personal life.
Paolo (The book) I wrote it coming out of a situation of uh, what we call domestic conflict I suppose. I was quite affected over the years by the words that were used against me; the controlling manner in which words were used and I realized the impact, the incredible impact it had on me and the devastating effect it had on my children as a result of that. It’s all about bullying.
And since bullying is a global issue, she released her book in three different languages: French, English and Spanish and she enlisted the help of her thirteen year old son to do the illustrations which was just brilliant. He uses stick figures that are remarkably expressive.
Paulo (Illustrations) The images are very simple. Very Clear. for the perspective of a child. And there’s one of the drawings, there’s two people are happy and you can see that in his bubble head has people around the table and everybody is laughing and in the other image he’s drawn the bully or the person being accused, accusing the other child or insulting the other child with another bubble over his head and you can see his family is tense and upset and so its the image you bring. you bring other things to the words that you say.
It’s great because you can clearly see what is happening and that’s what it’s all about. Simple, effective communication about an important issue. The drawings not only help kids to understand what’s being said, they also help parents to think about how they use words.
Paolo (Bullies aren’t born) Bullies are not born bullies there’s always a background to that and how parents talk to each other, it’s a start or how parents talk to their kid will make them feel a certain way so that’s the premise of this whole book was that context.
And, if you see something, say something. I know that was an expression created to raise public awareness about terrorism but it still applies here.
Paolo(Courage) One of the big things is if you see something that’s not right, stop it or say this isn’t right. Stand up for those who are being spoken to poorly and say no this is not acceptable we don’t do that, to have the courage to do that. I know it’s difficult to have courage to do these things.
Giving our kids the courage to be able to do that starts at home. Think about how words are used in your home. the kinds of things that are being said. Is there a better way to get your point across? Are there things being said that maybe shouldn’t be?
Paolo (Bruise) You’re so incapable. You’re unable to do this. You’re so this. Those are the words, you walk away saying, I’m incapable? I can’t do this? I’m not a good mom? What are you saying? And it sits and it goes around and around and around. Those are the powers of words. They don’t leave bruises that you can see, not like bruises. A bruise will go away. You’ll have a memory, oh I was hit whatever but that will go away but the you’re incapable, you’re not smart that just tick, tick tick.
So if you haven’t discovered the moral of our story today kids it’s that words do hurt. They can leave greater bruises than punches so choose your words wisely and a great way to learn how to do that is by reading the book “Words Choose Wisely” by Paolo Iglesias available online wherever you like to buy books.
Paolo (Change the World) My goal is to change the world one world at a time.
Haha I love that. Yes, that is true we have to start somewhere because our children are watching and listening, and that will do it for this edition of Newsgram from Webtalkradio.com