Hosted by Lesli Doares, LMFT
Happily Ever After is not just a mythical place somewhere over the rainbow. With attention and love you can bring that feeling to your relationship. Learning to communicate your real needs and desires as well as understanding your partners’ will help you foster the feeling of acceptance and contentment you’ve always dreamed of. It’s not just magic and chemistry but a way of thinking and behaving that lets you develop as equal partners. Join us on Happily Ever After for practical tips you can use right now in your daily communications, thought processes and decisions.
For many, this time of year can be really stressful. And that’s even without a pandemic. Instead of feeling joyous and full of good cheer, you may be feeling anxious instead. Oh, you might put a smile on your face and commit to following all the usual traditions, but you’re already exhausted by overwhelm. And overly focusing on making everyone’s holidays happy whether they, or you, like it or not will only make it worse. The fact is we bring most of this stress on ourselves. The good news is that you have the power to make it go away.
Authors of the Irrelationship: How We Use Dysfunctional Relationships to Hide from Intimacy, psychoanalyst Dr. Mark Borg, psychiatrist, Dr. Grant Brenner, and registered nurse Daniel Berry, join the show for a discussion of how you can minimize the stress of the season and really enjoy your holidays.
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Lesli Doares has had a life-long curiosity about what makes marriage work.
After professional study and a marriage nearing the quarter century mark, she has found some answers. Lesli is known as an expert in what makes relationships successful. Since 2002, couples and individuals have been coming to her to learn how to make their relationship dreams come true.
Pain of Divorce.
Lesli knows the pain of divorce. Her parents started to have marital difficulty when she was eight. After leaving home a few times, her father left for good when she was fifteen. They divorced when she was sixteen and both remarried within a month. Lesli was hurt and lost and no one seemed to really notice or care. She tried to find love and acceptance in her own romantic relationships but was unsuccessful for many years.
Through a series of seemingly random career choices, Lesli ended up becoming a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in 2004 and began a private practice. By this time she was happily married for almost twenty years to an incredibly supportive and accepting man and had two pre-teen children.
Her professional life changed forever when a five year old girl was brought to her office for treatment of anxiety. Her parents had divorced when she was two and had been using her as the rope in their ongoing tug-of-war. This little girl understood her job to be “taking care of her mother”. She could not do that and love her father at the same time. Her pain mirrored the pain Lesli felt when her own parents divorced.
At that moment, Lesli knew the only way to deal with the pain children of divorce feel was to make sure the divorce never occurred in the first place. It became clear that, if she was going to protect the children, she needed to start with their parents’ marriages. The pain of this little girl is in Lesli’s heart every day, inspiring her to do for others what Lesli was not able to do for her.
Lesli’s passion is for creating happy, successful marriages and reducing the chance of divorce. She is gifted at understanding and explaining the dynamics of relationships in a way that enables her clients to see the possibilities for their marriage, no matter how discouraged they are at first. Her clients say she is an angel in disguise. Lesli is approachable and open. Her clients feel listened to and understood as she honestly and gently challenges them to think about their relationship in a new and different way. One former client says that when she and her husband reach an impasse, she still asks herself, “What would Lesli say?”
Author and Relationship Consultant And Coach
Lesli is the author of Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage: How to Create Your Happily Ever After With More Intention, Less Work. In this book, she focuses on helping couples build strong, secure relationships using a simple five step approach to create their ideal marriage. She has studied with Michele Weiner Davis of Divorce Busting and is a sought after speaker and workshop leader.