George Washington was the not the first U.S. President and our nation’s birthday is not July 4, 1776! Those facts and other historical mysteries are uncovered as we talk with historian Stanley Klos who notes that the foundation on which this country was built was discussed and written in taverns, so it’s patriotic to tip a few now and then! Five decades ago Marilyn Monroe died and this week we learn of a new conspiracy about Marilyn that could change history. Big surprise this week when Ronald McDonald stops by and reveals he had no choice but to be the Chief Happiness Officer of McDonald’s. “When you’re born this way you have only one option,” he tells us! Dudley Disastro, the commissioner of the Demolition Derby League explains the art and the sport of driving cars into each other until only one (the winner) remains drivable; we hear about the world’s oldest human living well at 114; we learn of school children’s drive to make the crème puff the official dessert of Wisconsin; even though he didn’t live there George Washington named the White House; we discover that there are cannibal pygmies living in Wyoming; and we find out that all the world’s Big Foots have been captured by Aliens who are making them work in gold mines to create enough fuel to power Alien spacecraft. We broadcast the third week from the World’s Largest Entertainment McDonald’s in Orlando, Fla.